To Be Seen
September 13, 2018
To most people - at least from a distance - I look like I have life figured out and that nothing is bothering me. In truth, more often than not, I may be full of toxic fumes that I'm trying to hide (consciously or not). It's been a hard season for me; there's been a good amount of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty through transition -- but I just. keep. plugging. along. You wouldn't likely know unless you and I were really close or you read it in my eyes - and largely no one seems to be able to read it in my eyes.
It's hard for people to know our pain, our stories, when we don't open up. Why? Probably because they have their own stories and pain to deal with; but I'm oh so slowly learning the value of opening up - being vulnerable - hence this post for starters. Just like the landfill - which has pipes to release methane gas so as not to cause an explosion - you and I need someone to vent to.
I was recently encouraged in listening to an audio version of a book called The Dream of You by Jo Saxton. I highly recommend it, but I digress. Jo referenced the Biblical story of Hagar in Genesis 16. The story reads like a Soap Opera - but to sum it up...Sarah is married to Abraham, Sarah is barren, has bright idea to "give" her maid Hagar to Abraham to have a child for Sarah. Hagar becomes pregnant. Both women are jealous and mean to each other. Hagar runs away to escape mistreatment. She meets God. She was partly in the wrong, partly in the right - either way God encourages her and tells her she will have many descendants. Hagar names God "El Roi" meaning The God Who Sees Me. (feel free to read Genesis 16 yourself).
The God Who Sees Me. The God Who Love Me. The God who gives me all of what I need to live this life and stop hiding and disguising myself as someone else.
Nearby my work, there lies a landfill. From a distance, this landfill looks almost like a typical hill. There's a mound of dirt, covered mostly in grass, with an abundance of birds. When the sun is setting over the landfill...though it be toxic, it's almost pretty.
Sometimes I feel like that landfill. Maybe you can relate?To most people - at least from a distance - I look like I have life figured out and that nothing is bothering me. In truth, more often than not, I may be full of toxic fumes that I'm trying to hide (consciously or not). It's been a hard season for me; there's been a good amount of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty through transition -- but I just. keep. plugging. along. You wouldn't likely know unless you and I were really close or you read it in my eyes - and largely no one seems to be able to read it in my eyes.
It's hard for people to know our pain, our stories, when we don't open up. Why? Probably because they have their own stories and pain to deal with; but I'm oh so slowly learning the value of opening up - being vulnerable - hence this post for starters. Just like the landfill - which has pipes to release methane gas so as not to cause an explosion - you and I need someone to vent to.
I was recently encouraged in listening to an audio version of a book called The Dream of You by Jo Saxton. I highly recommend it, but I digress. Jo referenced the Biblical story of Hagar in Genesis 16. The story reads like a Soap Opera - but to sum it up...Sarah is married to Abraham, Sarah is barren, has bright idea to "give" her maid Hagar to Abraham to have a child for Sarah. Hagar becomes pregnant. Both women are jealous and mean to each other. Hagar runs away to escape mistreatment. She meets God. She was partly in the wrong, partly in the right - either way God encourages her and tells her she will have many descendants. Hagar names God "El Roi" meaning The God Who Sees Me. (feel free to read Genesis 16 yourself).
The God Who Sees Me. The God Who Love Me. The God who gives me all of what I need to live this life and stop hiding and disguising myself as someone else.
Comments
Post a Comment